Next on “stuff Nicole reads:” Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.
Eurgh.
Okay, so the team at Captain Awkward was all “listen to Brené Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability,” and I did, and I was bowled over and it was all I could think about for, like, days.
(The short version of the TED talk: Brené Brown is a highly capable and confident woman who has her shit together—in other words, she’s exactly like me—and her life and relationships improve immeasurably when she learns the importance of sharing her vulnerability.)
So I read her book.
It is exactly like every other self-help book I’ve ever read. 
AAAAAAAH get enough sleep, pay attention to how your body feels before you put food in it (so you won’t get fat, natch), make time in your day for play, be more open to making mistakes, love people for who they are, love yourself, stop being so mean to your kids and your spouse.
I wanted to learn how to communicate my vulnerability to people. I’m very good at getting enough sleep and not being mean. After all, I’m a confident modern woman who has her shit together. 
I wanted there to be something in this book that I hadn’t already read.

Next on “stuff Nicole reads:” Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

Eurgh.

Okay, so the team at Captain Awkward was all “listen to Brené Brown’s TED talk on vulnerability,” and I did, and I was bowled over and it was all I could think about for, like, days.

(The short version of the TED talk: Brené Brown is a highly capable and confident woman who has her shit together—in other words, she’s exactly like me—and her life and relationships improve immeasurably when she learns the importance of sharing her vulnerability.)

So I read her book.

It is exactly like every other self-help book I’ve ever read. 

AAAAAAAH get enough sleep, pay attention to how your body feels before you put food in it (so you won’t get fat, natch), make time in your day for play, be more open to making mistakes, love people for who they are, love yourself, stop being so mean to your kids and your spouse.

I wanted to learn how to communicate my vulnerability to people. I’m very good at getting enough sleep and not being mean. After all, I’m a confident modern woman who has her shit together. 

I wanted there to be something in this book that I hadn’t already read.

I saw this and thought “It’s going to be horrible, isn’t it.” 

Opened it up to a random page.

"Dana’s face was a round mound."

Yup. It’s horrible.

I saw this and thought “It’s going to be horrible, isn’t it.”

Opened it up to a random page.

"Dana’s face was a round mound."

Yup. It’s horrible.

notalwaysweak said: On the topic of cosplay, I planned my whole Halloween theme this year around playing Georgia Mason and now we're a month out I'm chickening out... because I'm a size 20. I know you're the first person who'll tell me not to be silly and play who I want, but I feel so awful about it. (Not really a question so much as a statement, I know, I'm sorry.)

seananmcguire:

You are not being silly.

Sometimes I put on my fancy dresses for award ceremonies, or my favorite skirt, or even a pair of mouse ears, and then I look at myself and go “I feel amazing but everyone who sees me will go what a pig what a cow how dare she try to feel pretty how dare she think we want to see that.”  I hate that most of the pictures of me from the last few years have been in an assistance vehicle, because I always slouch, and then I look even bigger.  I avoid being photographed whenever possible.

You are not being silly.  You are being the product of a world that tells you that you don’t deserve to take up space.

But here is something you are being: you are being brave, because you are facing this head-on, now, and not waiting until the last moment and going “cough cough I’m sick oh well.”  You’re looking at what you’re doing, and why.  And you are marvelous.

Georgia Mason would not look at you funny for dressing up as her while being a size 20.  She wouldn’t make fun.  She would tell you to be true to you, because truth is what matters.  And the truth is, I think you would make a marvelous Georgia.  I hope you can find it in you to be even braver, and wear your cosplay with pride.  But if you can’t, you are not silly.  You are wounded, and you are allowed to take care of yourself when you are wounded.

I think you are magnificent, no matter what you decide.

The three hobbies I’d encourage teenage girls to have are long country walks, to get some air in your lungs; masturbation; and the revolution. If you have those three things, you can’t go far wrong.
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(via fuckyeahcaitlinmoran)

This Week in Freelancing: Am I a Brand?

Money earned this week: $1,069.99 or $519.99, depending on where you want to count the end of the week as “Friday” or “before Monday morning”

Pieces written this week: 14 or 12, depending on whether you’re going to count the two pieces I’m going to finish before Monday morning

Transparency is everything.

I was not half as snarky about Professor Dumpster as I wanted to be. The first draft of that piece actually contained song lyrics that I wrote about him. But I read over that initial draft and thought “Okay, it’s clever, but it’s mean. I also speculate a lot on the facts.”

So I edited it, because I don’t want the Nicole Dieker brand to be mean. (I also don’t want to be mean in real life, but I really don’t want the print version of Nicole to be mean.)

I’ve been thinking a lot about personal branding and how it makes it a bit more difficult to say what you actually think.

For example, I think it’s weird and inappropriate that Professor Dumpster and his students are theoretically taking turns sleeping in the same dumpster bed, but I don’t have proof that they’re actually sleeping in the same bed (all I know is that they’re taking turns sleeping in the same dumpster) and there is no way I can call a man out for being inappropriate just because I read a few pieces about him online and then crafted them into another piece for The Billfold. That’s not right.

Another example: I totally want to write about Tinder and my experiences on Tinder, and snap judgments and the eyes being a window to the soul and why I am so unexplainably turned off by dudes playing golf because what’s wrong with golf, Nicole? WHAT’S WRONG WITH GOLF? but… I can’t write about Tinder in an official context, and I don’t even really want to write about it here on Tumblr, because I am at least a partially Public Person and thousands of people read my stuff every week, and I have to be aware of that.

I am at least partially a brand. A demibrand.

I feel like I need a third space where I can share undiluted thoughts, because it’s important to remind myself of what I actually think, even if it is speculative or mean. (This is probably where a good journal would come in handy.)

On the other hand, being a demibrand has made me much more aware of my own prejudices and assumptions about the world, and maybe being an edited Nicole is better than being an undiluted one. If I can identify that something I’m writing isn’t true, it’s just my speculation, and I can refine that speculation into something closer to truth, then I have another tool at which to look at the world. It makes me a better person, maybe.

I don’t know. It’s just what I’m thinking about this week.

And no, I don’t know what’s wrong with golf. My grandpa plays golf. A lot of cool people play golf. And yet I swipe left every time.

THE LIST it’s time for the list of things I published this week

Ask A Freelancer: How Do You Write 20-30 Pieces Every Week? at The Freelancer, By Contently (and oh my did this piece get spread around the internet this week)

Starting a Freelance Business: Here’s What You Need to Know at The Penny Hoarder

What the Last Four Feature Films I Saw Taught Me About Money at The Billfold

On Reading Insecurity, E+L=M, and a Billfold Book Club Update at The Billfold

Two More Reasons to Feel Awkward About Using Uber at The Billfold

How Wizards Do Money: Fay Dunbar at The Billfold

Professor Dumpster Still Trying To Make Dumpster Happen at The Billfold

wedgex:

trojansaxon:

macabrekawaii:

coveredinsnow-:

please consider: rihanna as crowley and lupita as aziraphale 

image

this brought to you by the committee for the healthy perpetuation of good omens fancasts that don’t involve a) benedict cumberbatch and martin freeman, b) benedict cumberbatch and matt smith, c) martin freeman and matt smith, or d) all the above + arthur darvill 

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas

Oh god such casting!!!

YES.

THOSE OUTFITS

nervous-times said: Hey, question: If a reader found a grammatical error in a story of yours, would you want them to point it out to you, or is that crossing the boundary of "being a little fuckwad to someone that is way more successful than you will ever be"

arabellesicardi:

i’m totally fine with having that stuff pointed out. i hate editing my own work so it’s not like i’m surprised i passed something over in a readthrough. anyone who’s protective over their mistakes needs to grow up. where’d i fuck up?

I see minor errors in my work all the time. They usually enter the piece after I’ve turned in my final draft to my editor (that is, they aren’t my errors, someone else adds them during the process of getting the piece ready for publishing). 

For the most part, I can’t do anything about them. When someone else does the website upload or publication process, I can’t do much about mistakes once they’re published.

So… I’m totally fine with you telling me that there’s some typo or grammar error in something I write, but I can’t do a dang thing about it!

meghantonjes:

al3cthegr8:

hoevignonblanc:

christianmingle:

blackandgoldkeywork:

Christian Mingle - Movie Trailer

Yes, this is a movie made by the dating site. Yes, that is Gretchen Wieners as the main character. And yes, as a Christian, I thoroughly embarrassed that anyone even THOUGHT of this idea, let alone made it into a movie.

this is going to be terrible for my tag

DUDE ID TOTALLY GO SEE THIS

this CAN’T be real

what.

If this is for real, it is brilliant. And Stephen Toblowsky’s in it?!

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Nicole Dieker. Freelance copywriter. Essayist (The Toast, Yearbook Office, Boing Boing, The Billfold). Occasional nerd musician. Every week I post how much money I earn writing.

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